Congress began holding hearings on steroid use in baseball today, demonstrating that they really, really have nothing to do.
So, if you have any ideas for some stuff they could look into, if you have a problem with potholes on your street or ornery garbage men, say, maybe now would be a good time to give your representatives in Washington a jingle. They're bored as hell.
As a high-profile showdown between Congress and baseball got underway, lawmakers said the sport bore responsibility for spiraling rates of illegal steroid use among high school athletes and needed to do more to clean up its act.
"You can't do this just by sending people into the classrooms and talking about it. You've got to start from the top down," said Virginia Rep. Tom Davis, chairman of the House of Representatives Government Reform Committee.
Other lawmakers suggested Congress could revoke the sport's antitrust exemption that has shielded it from competition.
Okay, a few things here...
One, who cares.
Two, why the hell does baseball have an antitrust exemption? That should be revoked whether they clean up the 'roids or not. Ridiculous.
More seriously, though, this issue is silly. Major league athletes use performance enhancing drugs because the game is filled with obscene amounts of money. End of story. With the kind of money they make, it's ridiculous to expect them not to do everything humanly possible to gain a tiny advantage. Nearly anyone would do it.
Further, using drugs is not the only way they enhance performance. Will the Congress hold hearings on laser eye surgery? Is it really fair if some players (who have no vision problems) have the shape of their corneas altered so that they have the vision of a hawk? How about Tommy John surgery, where the ligaments in the forearm are rearranged to produce a more powerful pitcher? Is that fair? (Currently this surgery is only being done on pitchers who have had arm injuries, but it surely won't be long before someone finds a doctor to do it electively.)
Congress justifies its attention to this issue by claiming they're doing it for "the children." If pro ballplayers use drugs to get ahead, kids will see that it's the only way to make it in the big leagues and will follow suit. Well, if they're not naturally one of the top 50 or 100 athletes on the planet, then they're probably right.
But if it's all about the children, then why no hearings on alcohol advertising associated with pro sports? What about basketball players jumping into the stands and kicking the shit out of the fans, where are the hearings on that?
Of course I'm being a bit facetious. The point here is dual: 1 - Congress has much more important things to deal with. The committee that's holding these hearings is called the House Government Reform Committee. Maybe they should focus on that. 2 - They can't win on this issue. The way to get drugs out of the game is with economic pressure from the fans in the form of not buying tickets, not through legislation.
